


TSUKISHIMA KEI: A User Guide

by jercydee



Series: Haikyuu!! NaNoWriMo 2018 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Manual, Character Study, Footnotes, Friendship, Gen, Maintenance Guide, Manga Spoilers, Megane Tsundere, NaNoWriMo, Third Gym (Haikyuu!!), User guide, character guide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 03:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16526066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jercydee/pseuds/jercydee
Summary: NaNoWriMo Day 4: Character User GuideA comprehensive guide to owning your very own TSUKISHIMA KEI unit!Warning: Veryslightmanga spoilers post-Shiratorizawa match. Also a lot of caps lock.





	TSUKISHIMA KEI: A User Guide

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Harry Potter: The Owner's Guide](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/430616) by RuleThyMi. 



> I took _major_ formatting inspiration from RuleThyMi's fic on FF.net. Please forgive any OOC-ness because writing this literally made me discover how much I actually like this ~~asshole~~ megane tsundere lmao. Un-beta'd as always and I am suffering /o\
> 
> Thank you to Pat-friend for idea throwing, [Jess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor/pseuds/Karasuno%20Volleygays) for inspiring the last part, and my discord servers for the cheerleading! You are all wonderful human beings! ♥

**• TSUKISHIMA KEI: A User Guide •**

* * *

* * *

**Is the TSUKISHIMA KEI model right for you?**

Before purchasing, first determine if the TSUKISHIMA KEI model is right for you. If you agree to any of the following statements, please reconsider purchasing a TSUKISHIMA KEI unit. Notes and alternatives are provided for each point.

[   ] I dislike quiet situations. I value a conversational partner.

  * TSUKISHIMA KEI units greatly dislike noise and are comfortable sitting in silence with their headphones on. Do NOT consider purchasing this model if you prefer otherwise.
  * Alternative: A HINATA SHOUYOU unit is the perfect conversation companion. You may also consider the NISHINOYA YUU or TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE models.



[   ] I dislike sarcasm and teasing.

  * All TSUKISHIMA KEI units include built-in SNARKY personalities. There are no modifications to this.
  * Alternative: Consider getting a YAMAGUCHI TADASHI unit if you desire amiable companionship.



[   ] I dislike earnestness and commitment without guarantee.

  * TSUKISHIMA KEI units are extremely hostile towards goals that do not have guaranteed results. Many customers have returned their models when their TSUKISHIMA unit has tried to angrily talk them out of plans.
  * Alternative: BOKUTO KOUTAROU units are excellent companions to help work through difficult goals.



* * *

**Technical Specifications**

Name: Tsukishima Kei

Accepted Nicknames: Tsukki (only accepted from YAMAGUCHI TADASHI units)

Other* Nicknames: Stingyshima, Clever Blocker, Glasses, “Four Eyes”, Lil’ Bro-shima, Smirky Read Blocker, The Normal Guy, Nobukatsu-kun  
* WARNING: Manufacturers are not responsible for any annoyances experienced by your TSUKISHIMA KEI if called any of these nicknames. TSUKISHIMA units are only comfortable accepting nicknames from trusted companions.

Model Type: Middle Blocker, Karasuno First Year, Kouhai

Personality Traits: Snarky, Tsundere

Date of Production: September 27, 1996

Height: 190.1cm / 6’3”

* * *

**Accessories**

Your TSUKISHIMA KEI comes from the factory with one (1) of each of the following items:

  * Glasses
  * Prescription sports goggles (NEW!)
  * Karasuno High School Boy’s Uniform
  * Karasuno Boy’s Volleyball Uniform
  * Molten-style volleyball
  * Dinosaur toy* (NEW!)
  * Slice of strawberry shortcake* (NEW!)



* Accessory added due to popular demand

* * *

**Marks I, II, and III? What’s the difference?**

There are three (3) prototypes for all _Haikyuu!!_  models.

Mk. I, Manga: Furudate Haruichi, 2012.

Mk. II, Anime: Uchiyama Kouki, 2014.

Mk. III, Stage Play: Kosaka Ryotaro, 2015.

All prototypes are quite similar, with each subsequent mark less developed than the last. _Mk. I_  has the most canon development and is much more rounded as a character unit as a result. _Mk. III_  has been particularly noted to be emotionally vulnerable when out of character. _Mk. II_  is a perfect median between the other two marks. However, all prototypes maintain the same hardworking tsundere qualities of beloved the TSUKISHIMA KEI model.

* * *

**Unboxing Your TSUKISHIMA KEI**

Like many units, your TSUKISHIMA KEI will be happy to be out of his crate. Especially because of his height, he will be very grateful to be outside.

How to unbox your TSUKISHIMA KEI:

  1. Open the crate. Remove all industrial tape, nails, and packing peanuts as necessary.
  2. DO NOT offer to help your unit out of his crate. He will be insulted at the assumption he cannot exit a box on his own. DO keep an eye on him to make sure he is in working condition.
  3. Offer your TSUKISHIMA KEI any of his accessories. To keep busy during shipment, he most likely has his headphones already, so many customers advise offering the slice of strawberry shortcake to placate him.



WARNING:

  * TSUKISHIMA units may be extremely cranky as a result of the tight packaging and varying shipping times. Please exercise patience as he returns to a default mood.
  * Wobbliness, disorientation, and similar symptoms after long shipment travel are normal. Contact your manufacturer if your unit experiences other symptoms.



* * *

**Programming**

Your TSUKISHIMA KEI comes with different actions.

(1) Volleyball

Despite being a first-year high school student, TSUKISHIMA KEI is exceptionally skilled at volleyball. This model was chosen to participate in the MIYAGI FIRST YEAR TRAINING CAMP shortly after its debut, so rest assured that you are playing with a good player. His techniques need refinement—which will come from practice, stern leadership, and determination to keep his interest—but he can play as a starting member right out of the box! His height will continue to increase even after breaking the 190cm barrier, so be sure to utilize it well during games.

TSUKISHIMA is also an excellent partner to practice* volleyball with. He is quick to adapt to new training partners and learns new play-styles quite rapidly.

* Note: TSUKISHIMA prefers strict practice times and can NOT be persuaded to stay for free practices unless forced to by team captains or coaches (which is why keeping his interest is essential). He also loses patience easily if he feels like his training partner is not improving. Take caution when practicing with TSUKISHIMA units—patience is necessary but payoffs are worthwhile when watching his steady improvement.

(2) Companionship (built on sarcasm and wit)

TSUKISHIMA KEI has a SNARKY personality built into the model. Though introverted and antagonistic, he enjoys partners* who can keep up with his wit and sarcasm.

He maintains a reasonable amount of confidence, which may come across as prideful and smug to first-time buyers. Seasoned owners understand that this confidence actually comes from a place of deep insecurity, so it is essential to comfort your TSUKISHIMA KEI unit even if he acts like he dislikes it.

* Note: Refer to the “Reactions to Other Units” section to see the types of friendships/relationships you can build with your TSUKISHIMA KEI.

(3) Tutor

The TUTOR FUNCTION is the buggiest mode for all TSUKISHIMA KEI units, though he is equipped with one. Despite having keen intellect, TSUKISHIMA is not good at helping others with their academics. He is even more intimidating when the TUTOR FUNCTION is turned on and will lose patience faster than normal if those he tutors do not improve quickly.

Alternative: Have a YAMAGUCHI TADASHI or YACHI HITOKA unit do the tutoring since both models include a TUTOR FUNCTION as well. Both models also have much more personable teaching approaches.

* * *

**Reactions to Other Units**

TSUKISHIMA AKITERU

  * Older brother model to TSUKISHIMA KEI units.
  * KEI units generally look up to AKITERU units.
  * AKITERU greatly supports KEI, even if KEI dislikes it.
  * In the past, KEI units have had issues trusting the AKITERU units after an AKITERU unit lied to a KEI unit. Currently, the two TSUKISHIMA models are mending their relationship.



YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

  * Childhood best friend model with TSUKISHIMA KEI units.
  * Has a tendency to repeat “Shut up” and “Sorry” (said by TSUKISHIMA and YAMAGUCHI respectively), but is otherwise the best companion to match with TSUKISHIMA.



HINATA SHOUYOU

  * A generally antagonistic relationship occurs between HINATA and TSUKISHIMA units, with minimal respect for one another.
  * TSUKISHIMA units often find HINATA units very annoying.
  * DO NOT let these models interact if HINATA must be tutored. TSUKISHIMA’s TUTORING FUNCTION is not optimal for this situation.



KAGEYAMA TOBIO

  * DOES NOT get along with TSUKISHIMA KEI units.
  * In close proximity, the two models will get into fights with each other.
  * DO NOT let these models interact if KAGEYAMA must be tutored. TSUKISHIMA’s TUTORING FUNCTION is not optimal for this situation.
  * The two models can actually work surprisingly well during volleyball matches under stressful gameplay.



YACHI HITOKA and SHIMIZU KIYOKO

  * Gets along politely with either MANAGER TYPE model.
  * TSUKISHIMA is amicable with both.



SAWAMURA DAICHI, SUGAWARA KOUSHI, and AZUMANE ASAHI

  * Respects all KARASUNO THIRD YEAR TYPE models.
  * Will listen to their orders as SENPAI TYPES.



NISHINOYA YUU and TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE

  * Finds both NISHINOYA and TANAKA models quite annoying, but can respect them as SENPAI TYPES.
  * Unlike KARASUNO THIRD YEAR TYPES, TSUKISHIMA will not hesitate to make fun of KARASUNO SECOND YEAR TYPES. This will annoy NISHINOYA and TANAKA greatly, and demand that he apologize for his actions as a KOUHAI TYPE. TSUKISHIMA units tend not to.



KUROO TETSUROO

  * Finds KUROO TETSUROO units extremely annoying because of his built-in PROVOCATION personality, especially when combined with BOKUTO KOUTAROU units.
  * Respects KUROO despite the above because they share the same volleyball position and because of KUROO’s volleyball skills, so he will listen to KUROO as a result.



BOKUTO KOUTAROU

  * Finds BOKUTO KOUTAROU units extremely annoying because of his built-in ENTHUSIASTIC personality, especially when combined with KUROO TETSUROO units.
  * Respects BOKUTO despite the above because he has excellent volleyball advice and skill, and will listen to BOKUTO as a result.



AKAASHI KEIJI

  * Automatically respects AKAASHI KEIJI units.
  * Both TSUKISHIMA and AKAASHI units often find solidarity with one another when forced to deal with KUROO and BOKUTO units.



* * *

**Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)**

**Q:**  My TSUKISHIMA and KAGEYAMA units are fighting! What do I do?  
**A:**  The manufacturer is NOT responsible for any fights that occur between these two units. We have updated the “Reactions to Other Units” section of our instruction manual as a result of several complaints we’ve received.

 **Q:**  It’s in the middle of a match though! They’re both on the same team and they need to cooperate.  
**A:**  If required to get along during a volleyball game, have a SAWAMURA DAICHI or SUGAWARA KOUSHI unit demand they stop fighting. Having a TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE unit to physically break up the fight will also help.

 **Q:**  My TSUKISHIMA unit suddenly turned very shy. What happened?  
**A:**  A KUROO TETSUROO* unit has likely tried provoking a TSUKISHIMA unit by comparing his abilities to the HINATA SHOUYOU model. TSUKISHIMA will turn shy as a result of his insecurities. Allow your TSUKISHIMA unit to deal with this privately. If no improvements occur, get a YAMAGUCHI TADASHI unit confront him (see below).  
* Note: KUROO will apologize to a SAWAMURA DAICHI unit if he cannot apologize to TSUKISHIMA directly.

 **Q:**  My YAMAGUCHI TADASHI unit is confronting my TSUKISHIMA unit. What do I do?  
**A:**  This is a rare occurrence. However, allow your YAMAGUCHI unit to yell at TSUKISHIMA. TSUKISHIMA units often need a kick in the ass.

 **Q:**  My TSUKISHIMA unit just started shouting and pumping his fists! What’s going on??  
**A:**  You either received a TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE unit by accident (please contact Customer Service if this has occurred) or TSUKISHIMA has just blocked a spike from USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI and is celebrating! If it is the latter, allow him to celebrate* and scream along with this teammates.  
* WARNING: If a TSUKISHIMA AKITERU unit witnesses a KEI unit celebrating during a game he may cry.

 **Q:**  My HINATA SHOUYOU unit is climbing up my TSUKISHIMA unit in an attempt to punch his face! Help!!  
**A:**  1) Please ensure that your HINATA unit is, in fact, trying to punch your TSUKISHIMA unit. Fights and general roughhousing often occur between HINATA and KAGEYAMA units.  
2) If it is, in fact, your TSUKISHIMA unit being climbed on, have SAWAMURA DAICHI and TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE units intervene the fight. Nearby SUGAWARA KOUSHI units are unhelpful in this situation, and may instead laugh at their brawling.

 **Q:**  Can I pamper my TSUKISHIMA unit?  
**A:**  You can try. TSUKISHIMA generally dislikes being doted on and prefers being independent. However, if offered dinosaur-related memorabilia or strawberry cake slices, new* TSUKISHIMA units will accept both of these offerings happily.  
* Note: This function has only been recently included with newer TSUKISHIMA KEI units. Owners of older units will need to tweak their TSUKISHIMA KEI without manufacturer support using FANDOM MODS. 

* * *

* * *

**• Thank you for purchasing a TSUKISHIMA KEI unit! •**

**Author's Note:**

> (RE: emotionally vulnerable Tsukki) Can you imagine if manga! or anime!Tsukki cried like [Ryotaro did](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRwVD4n6FrM)??? I'd sob too (ಥ﹏ಥ)
> 
> ~~I’m looking for a beta for this project. If you’re interested, please let me know c:~~
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos give me life and comments will be handed a cookie<3
> 
> [NaNoWriMo profile](https://nanowrimo.org/participants/jercydee)  
> [Thesis Blog](https://jercythesiscrying.tumblr.com) / [Rebloggable version of this fic](https://jercythesiscrying.tumblr.com/post/180601875039/tsukishima-kei-a-user-guide-tsukishima-centric)  
> [Main Blog](http://striveattemptfail.tumblr.com)


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